awldofmkebe-live

i never thought of losing you so soon. You such a free and independent spirit. You know how much you will be missed. You left me with many lessons and an indescribable love for a canine. My little lady Kaya thank you for your love. Your awesome howl that i will miss along with your lovely presence. I love you dearly and wish you well on your journey, and look forward to being reunited with you.
I can feel your presence as I type this and I can't help but cry. I celebrate your life & the love you gave our family. It snowed just for you as we buried you. i love you always.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

we got snow, yay!

Existen personas inseguras de tratar cosas nuevas por causa de inseguridad. Llega el dia en que conoces al padre que entrerro con frazes la desconfianza. Me pone un poco mal tener que enfrentar esa clase de emocion. Tengo los mismos traumas con mi propia familia. No cambiare mi manera de pensar. Como diria mi madre. Me vele madres lo que pienses de mi. Si quieres ser parte de mi vida escucharas lo que opino, respecto a mi vida y como vivo. Al igual escuchare y discutire con tigo al respecto. Con mucho respeto.
Me molesta ser tratada como una nina. Tengo qe dar espacio a mi nina y no tratarle de esa forma.

She walks from one place to another. Her energy is balanced when alone. She loves saying DAD and calls for Mom once in a while.

Xalia will be 11 months on monday. Her first year flew by.

a dance among the stars. A true gift from the universe.

Last night we came back from Phoenix it was a 5 hour trip that turned into an 8 hour trip back home. At about 9pm Xalia was playing and fell. Eric picked her up and she starts crying but no sound is coming out. I notice her color starting to change I panic and take her from him. I shout for her grandfather and he quickly starts cpr. All this happens within seconds and I am grateful to the universe that there was someone near that reacted fast to the situation. To see my child in that situation scared me, and i wont ever freeze like that again. I knew Larry would know what to do. I will make sure the same can become of me. I could not sleep I had to let this load out and face this new lesson.
Love to us all and goodnight.

Strumming an old son that reminds me of your smile. It seems a thousand light years ago we were together. When will i see you again? I hope this be soon my beloved friend. Shala la la la. I sit trying to sort this out. The past is there and we are here dreaming of a new beginning for the life we chose.

we went for a walk today and i wore her out. She complained a bit but its good for us.

We have a new puppy her name is Kaya. I love dogs but I've never had a puppy. She is a challenge and i cant seem to have patience with her. I have a 5 month old baby and I am finding it hard to balance taking care of both. If anyone has a suggestion I would really appreciated. Dearest universe I need balance.
Blessings

All the people you've loved but never quite knew. Lost inside my mind. Today I miss old friends. You see my life has changed and even though I love it. I still need a guitar to accompany my present state of mind. I won the world I share with you. I want to dance with you. I need to climb a tree. Get lost within my favorite song. I want to hula hoop with you. Lets jam together. Lets sing and pretend to play guitar. I loved our water balloon fight. Have a another drink and get ready for action. Irie love. Lets play. And play with about 30 dogs all at once. //Come on lets share our frozen moments one more time. And don't forget to say I love you this time :D






4-17-09

We have moved away once more yay! My love will be teaching in Pinon Arizona at a navajo reservation I am so excited about our new adventure together as a family.

Ah beginning once more. Not much time to think about me. Months ago I could now my thoughts dwell on becoming the loving mother I know I am. I love this never ending wonder of a life. I love inhaling this flower that keeps me in tune. Oh, this sweet melody i've been playing for 28 years and 9 months.
My daughter is now 3 months, I closed my eyes and now she smiles at me. Much to fast she grows and I grow along her side reminding me of a time in which I was the child and my mother guided me. I know now how much a mother loves and believe me its a blessing. Even in this moment in which you sleep, your love surrounds me.

On Monday Xalia had her fist set of shots and I believe she knew something was different. She is usually fine and playful with her doctor. But this visit was met with cry's and fussiness. It was hard to hear her cry after getting one shot on her right leg and two on her left. Later that evening she introduced her pain cry to me and I had a minor break down. Being only two months old I have heard many different cry's. But when she has pain it changes completely and It was hard to know I could not make her feel better. So next we went to the emergency room and she was given something for the pain in her legs. That was the conclusion we reached since she had no fever. So many things to learn I am ready bring it on. She is back to normal now and we are happy. Blessings to us all.

yes

I have yet to discover how to convince Xalia into sleeping in her crib. She will be 6 weeks Wednesday. So as I type my husband and daughter have taken over the bed. I guess I've given up fighting for my spot. As she develops her personality I am beginning to realize I should let her cry longer than 2 minutes. Maybe after she turns 3 months old, I hope. I love these wacky days in which I find myself learning to care for one so small. I am also cranky. I seek rhythm. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and Xalia will join me on a trip to Glendale. Our little family is adjusting, with plenty of love to go around I am optimistic about our future together. So tired. I am.

Tomorrow at 1:02 in the morning it will be one month of life outside the whom. I cannot imagine my life with out you my baby Xalia.

I was not thrilled by all the things I had to give into at the hospital. It meant nothing when I saw you. I have given you a name and I will feed you, as you grow I know you will remind me of many things I have forgotten. I look forward to our future adventures. I love you.

So much time we spend together getting to know each other little by little. Little sleep I must reset my habits. And you must know by now that my love for you is endless.

She is heaven sent. I love her so much.